small satori at work

Change in the year Calendars change, greetings exchange Another day to reflect Self is the beginning and self it ends Intervening years and people and events Modifies Self and provides time to change Self celebrates years, people and events often not realising, Na mitra, na bandhu, na tatvam, no Buddhi ..chidaananda rupah, shivoham, shivoham!

some days are longer than few weeks while other years seem shorter than days time is relative

end of the day i haven't spoken to anyone! feels good signing off and the lack of conversation. or was it the soul engulfing music? ha, at last a conversation... so, i record!

"don't disturb me when i am doing something cool!" said the latest poster in daughters wall. strangely, the thought of "what is 'cool' for her?" came a few seconds after the thought, 'did i say things like that at her age?'

productive day - gets punctuated by discontent email from friend end of the day i count the my blessings once for being able to finish tasks and again for not carrying the punctuation along then the creepy thought slips it in 'count one more, that while someone was upset being discontent you were happy with content work' not nice...this creepy stuff made me feel good all the same!!

aggressive moralizing is a evangelical pre-occupation; when the professing is of hegemonic knowledge, disastrous combination results!

Had I the heaven's embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths  Of night and light and the half-light; I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. W. B. Yeats

sometimes it is good to wish 'good bye' vocally and visibly to certain thoughts, memories and their associated apprehensions, expectations and anticipations! like bidding adieu to a friend one likes not to part with.

as people who rate relationships (both real and perceived) over that of written words, contracts fail where vachan prevails, justice fails where sense of dharma prevails, theology fails where spirituality prevails...way of life of the relationship people who always place their relationship above written words.

Leader centric organizations - follow whatever is the current priority of the Leader A wise Leader utilizes this tendency to ensure that whatever is best for the organization.

Allows me to view others' lives though I don't exist in it, Excites me about far off instances of human experience in front of a plastic plate, Makes me yearn for a life I can't live even as I waste a life I have, This internet technology, how it turns gullible folks into perverts of a non existent world!

A handful of people as I hurriedly  enter the meditation hall; hot humid weather and crowded noisy roads, dramatically turns silent in the cool large hall. I bow and sit, settling into the lotus posture is easier than the focussed mind. 5.56 says the digital clock next to  the altar as the rhythm of breath evens and eyes shut. ...6.09 says the clock as the opened eyes regain focus, noises of cymbals and drums being arranged, voices muffled all around as the devotees gather for the evening prayer. I bow and leave. The road is same,  pleasant and peaceful as I walk out slowly...

Distance from the real person is required to both idolize or villanize a person The larger the distance, the more flexibility in building the image That's why dead are easily idolized or villanized, it eliminates the chances that they will 'live' and challenge the image While the living grow and change, dead are best suited to sustain our frozen images and static minds

someone calls and i can't take the call someone writes and i am unable to write back someone wants a time with me and i can't make the time not that i intend to put them off just that i am tied to earlier commitments and this will stretch my energies but too shy to say so, i resort to the easy, 'i am busy just now' excuse and then this happens once too often then people whose call i couldn't take, meet people whose mails i didn't respond to, and confer with the person i couldn't make time to meet and conclude that i am way too 'busy'! now, people don't call or write or want to meet as they know i am 'busy' and when i reach out seeking to catch up with a friend or wanting to share something, all that i get to hear is 'but, i thought you were busy'!!

when did i become a teacher? did it happen after someone told me that they have 'learnt' from me? or when someone calls me a 'teacher' the first time? if all that i want to do is share and am seeking opportunities for the same then, what is it that i began to 'teach'? good to watch this thought. if we take the 'teaching' too seriously and profess things we don't know, share things we can't share.

"May kindly spirits bring the rains on time, For harvests to be rich and plentiful. May princes rule according to the Dharma; May the world be blessed with all prosperity. May medicines be full of strength; May secret words of power be chanted with success. May spirits o the air that feed on flesh Be kind, their minds imbued with pity. May beings never suffer anguish Let them not be sick nor evilly behave. May they have no fear, nor suffer insults. Always may their minds be free from sorrow. In monasteries, temples, and the like, May reading and reciting widely flourish. May harmony prevail among the Sangha; May its purposes be all fulfilled. ... May those who break their discipline repent, And always may they strive to cleanse away their faults, And thus may they acquire a fortunate rebirth, Wherein to practice stainless discipline. May wise and learned being be revered, And always be sustained by alms. May they be pure in mind, And may their fame spread far and wi

Organic recycled by nature, Spirit by time. Life goes and comes in between.

"We will finish your work today, please wait and take it", says the officer. 5 hours later. I am still waiting. Watching the play of various egos, his against mine, other colleagues against his, as patience yo-yos from wanting to walk out in indignation and knowing that nothing will happen if I do that till I come back next time. Nice learning this being in a government office. Mediocrity is the prevailing culture, egos play around the sustenance of this culture. no one wants anyone to excel and everyone looks at all others with suspicion. I sit in a corner and write my stories, send mails and read news as the system tries its best to tire me out. Tiring the opponent is a war tactic, the one who lasts wins, with the system it can last forever while the individual can only last as much as his patience lasts, here i am with some money in my pocket, capacity to see through their words and acts of insincerity,command a certain authority as well because of my previous e

yet another regular meeting, everyone sitting in chairs, waiting, notes turn, pens ready, anxious some, dull others, million reasons from everywhere to crowd the individual in a meeting and thereby the collective time and energy someone starts a meeting with a breathing exercise. everyone watches their breath, slowly and mindfully. then the meeting energy changes more breathing, smiles, small involuntary limb movements, ease of posture, no more pens eagerly poised,no more note pads ready to doodle in, just the moment captured in silence... 'felt good' says one, 'wow!' says another. moment in time to cherish. yet collectives have these far and few between. breathing together ought to be a daily event and compulsory beginner of every meeting. 

Another noisy neighbourhood temple festival. Indicates the convergence of enough followers of yet another village God, all of whom couldn't afford to go back to their village for regular festival. Individual economic necessity and collective insensitivity ensures mindless excessive noisy ugly festival. Fireworks indicate the arrival of the corrupt local politician that exploits the inability of someone to go home with easy money. The priest chants whenever the recorded music stops, must be well paid. The neighbourhood men await eagerly the end of the day cinema music singing troupe concert when wild drunken revelry is accepted as part of divine experience and hired impoverished traditional dancers are humiliated in their poverty to dance in the roads as part of the night long procession. God within awaits this new tamasha to subside so as to resurface.

wakes up ahead of me, don't know when it goes to bed after me, staying ahead of me, shaping my thoughts, awaiting my mortal response, holding me when i don't respond right, gently disappearing when i glow in abiding, this God particle in me...and in everyone around!

greenery of healthy herbs alongside our front wall are sacrificed to make way for the latest fossil fuel guzzler in the neighbourhood! corollary: the neighbour offers a toffee wrapped in glossy plastic in the evening in celebrating their new possession! what do i 'have' to 'celebrate' or 'offer' in return?!

walls, bricks, benches, doors all strewn with memories how did i think i have in me what it takes to forget experiences, when places and my responses to them still are carried in memory afresh...

mono-cultured minds seek loss of diversity. in seeking revenge in challenging status quo in rebelling in improving efficiency in suggesting change in enhancing looks in creating alternatives in sustaining a system if diversity is lost we all lose. revenge, challenge,efficiency, rebellion, change, look, intellect, system...are all of no use if human form is destroyed.

faster status update changes than one can change sooner someone appreciates than they can comprehend easier access to each others' intense moments grants more labels than what a human can grow into well, where are you my old friend?

relationship management and crowd management are two different things...in not understanding this lay the challenge of many Indians. some manage relations with crowd management strategies and lose them, others cosy up with apathetic crowds expecting to see relationship and get disappointed. both needn't be. 

... Old scrap book revives memories In unguarded moment of forgotten times Experiences re-lived and expressions recalled So when do we really forget?

in the times of the centralized, all powerful, destructive forces, it is brave to set the platforms that create a different force of people for the future rather than try and take cheap shots at the large force today. unlike the destructive forces of the militia, the destructive forces of market, cannot wish away people, they need consumers.